(Illustration by Anica Lelina | Amaranth)
For the longest time, the question has been asked, what is our notion of peace? Is it the absence of war? Is it the abundance of resources? Is it our contentment with what we already have? Is it the happiness that comes with ignorance and not-knowing? Each person has their own definition of peace, but my god… isn’t it just so hard to have one that you can rely on, especially when you’re in a situation wherein peace is as elusive as it is fragile.
Funny enough, yesterday, September 21, was the commemoration of the International Day of Peace, while also marking a dark chapter in our own country’s history—the anniversary of the declaration of Martial Law under late dictator Ferdinand Marcos Sr.
The commemoration of these two events at the same time seems to be deja vu. Under the guise of “peace” draped in the language of order, Martial Law was a pretense of stability hiding unspeakable fascism. Over 70,000 people were imprisoned without due process, merely for speaking out or being in the wrong place at the wrong time. At least 34,000 were tortured in the most inhumane ways. Electric shocks, waterboarding, beatings—these were not exceptions, but part of the regime's regular brutality and militarization.
And the dead? Official reports state 3,257 extrajudicial killings, yet countless others disappeared without a trace, known as desaparecidos, with their fates unknown to this day, their stories covered up with the harsh faith of “di mo sila gugustuhin kalabanin.”
As peace completely left our nation for the dream of a dictator, our rights were plunged for more than a decade worth of torment, oppression, and violence. We were left dancing in hell with our eyes pierced onto the reality of something antagonistic, something fatal, something only the Marcoses had dared to do to the Filipino people. When there was "peace", it was nothing but a haunting silence, the kind you hear in a graveyard—emptied of life and filled with despair with families and loved ones screaming for justice until their voices cracked and withered.
Today, in retrospect, are we so far from that hell? Another Marcos is in power, which is not the worst thing that this nation has dealt with so far, but what else? Politicians still toy with our futures and legislation in public as if it's a game. Corruption runs deep in our institutions. Our history is being casually revised right in front of our faces with the press being withheld its deserved freedom. The people, once again, find themselves clinging to the faintest hope, struggling just to survive another day because of insurmountable economic challenges.
We ask ourselves: where is peace? Or, more hauntingly, does peace even exist?
Baka nga totoo yung sinabi ng isa diyan, malapit na magwagi ang kampon ng kadiliman laban sa kampon ng kasamaan, or vice versa. It doesn’t matter who wins after all, impyerno parin naman ang dadatnan, so “kitakits” nalang ba?
What kind of peace can we truly claim when we seem to entertain ourselves with lies, perhaps out of desperation, telling ourselves it will all get better. But when the people who were once ousted in power, are back to take it all away from us again; note that word: AGAIN, what is there to gain?
The hope for peace is as toxic as the gasoline we have doused our hands to stroke the fires of those who have wronged the Filipino people. Kung hanggang dito na nga lang talaga ang ating kapayapaan, baka nga it wasn’t even much to begin saving for. I plead guilty for smiling whenever the commemorative dates were moved to make long weekends. I am complicit, and that is what is costing my peace—karma at its finest.
We may have already forgotten where this country was built from, and that’s a hard pill to swallow. Our history is just an accessory to a country that hasn’t even been remarkable for a lot of things. Not many people seem to understand the extent of what our nation could be if we were wise enough to choose peace over prominence. When we had the power and freedom, we did not fight tooth and nail for it, we just simply had to give it to ‘them’.
While the world moves through cycles of conflict and reconciliation, our country seems to be found in the murky waters of what a peaceful nation is. Our nation is at war with what it truly perseveres. Facades are easy to build, our smiles can be painted and replicated, but our struggles will eventually wear us down. To compare our situation to warring countries who pray for peace is ridiculous, but at the end of the day, we just want a life that’s not worth fighting, rather worth living for.
They say peace is all around us. That if we’re wise enough, we can find it, and strong enough, we can keep it. But in a place where institutions crumble, where justice is a commodity, and where the truth is twisted, peace becomes unstable—just like our faith in this world. Sama-sama man tayong naghihirap, sana ay sama-sama rin tayong bumangon, dahil hangga’t may tama pa sa mundo, maitatama pa natin to’.
Holding on to our resilience and history is basically a broken record by this point, but it’s the only thing that's left for us to hold on to. Unless people are held accountable, there is nothing we can do for now. There’s an election coming up, and that could be a glimpse of what this nation shapes to be under Marcos Jr. But if I circle back to the chilling thought: perhaps, there is no peace in hell. Maybe it was all too good to be true, for a nation who does not know how to learn from its mistakes.
#NeverAgain #NeverForget #ML52